Dirt Roads Lead To Home

A child falling asleep in the back seat… no worries or care.

Lulled by the familiar twists and turns on the dirt road they instinctively knew led to home.  To family, comfort and security…. Where the hallways reoccurringly echoed with life.

How did I come so far from the comfort of that car ride? How is it that I find myself existing in a world where that ride has now instead become a solo journey throughout life?

Gone is the perpetual bantering of siblings and in its place a radio station to appease the empty silence. 

I once opened our door to warm light and constant household activities.

Now, I simply open my door to quiet darkness.

There is a difference in falling asleep knowing the only breath to be had is your own. It catches in loneliness.

Remember tiptoeing through the house so no one would hear you sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack?

Now there’s no one to hear your footsteps. No home made meal awaiting your arrival or light scolding to get ready for dinner. Who knows either way…. who cares. Gone are good night kisses or someone to hug when you’re feeling down.

Remember meandering into your sibling’s room just because…. Gossiping and giggling late into the night.

Now they’re more distant than the miles or states that separate you.

Who are they even anymore? I don’t even know… when so long ago we fell asleep together on that well-known drive to that place we all called home.

What is home now but a vague memory of time long gone.

I tentatively reach out in the darkness for a love that will feel like home. But each door is the wrong one… each key the wrong turn and I’m getting so tired and weary.

So, I find myself almost lost and in limbo….not able to fall asleep as that child did in the back seat on a drive down the twists and turns of that familiar dirt road….