A tear drops with hopes of yesterdays and promises of tomorrow

Why must life be so difficult sometimes? Why all this heart ache and pain? These tears, they fall from our eyes and drip acid to our hearts. They swell up in our chest and we try so vigilantly to pretend like everything is ok and that we will be all right. But sometimes life isn’t all right. Sometimes life finds us on a cold dark empty corner of loneliness with nothing in our pockets but a fistful of tears and sadness. I understand that in the deepest moments of pain the only response to be felt to the hollowness in your heart is the echoing response of your own. And I know that this pain resurrects in the quietest moments of reflection. Sometimes it finds us in our car, at work, at home, in our beds, ….on a cliff… The little girl in me cries for all of you who are going through these moments of loneliness. I’m sorry…I’m sorry we don’t always understand… I’m sorry you feel so alone, I’m sorry the answers to your questions are often illusively just out of reach…But maybe if the answers were so readily available that would defeat the purpose of living this journey. Maybe life deals us this heartache so we can appreciate beauty even more when we see it. Maybe this deep reflection makes us stronger so in turn, we can be there for someone else. I know that life isn’t always easy. At the end of the day though you have to realize how beautiful life is and you have to believe in the hope of a better tomorrow… Because I believe in you….

The Connection...

I look into your eyes
And feel the depth of your soul
For when I gaze into yours
I recognize my own...

Into Dreams..

...Where people dance away the night
Where laughter thrives and youth abides
In this land there’s much to do
Where every thought becomes your truth
All these things I wish to see
I close my eyes and then I dream…

Tattered Sisters Of The Morrow

The sun sets on stricken memories of innocence-In a bittersweet dance of mishaps and negligence. Orange filters f-l-i-c-k-e-r on childlike intoxication, as I breathe in vague images of friendship and adoration. It's a shame when us girls ventured to new shores...how best friends' a yearly dividend we can't afford anymore.
No time to rewind... FAST FORWARD through the good times, sublime… down to the broken glass of glittered dreams no time- broken seams - shredded seams of hands held and angels. Gone is the candy, jelly bean, late night movies under blankets of chocolates and poems. Silly girls! Whirls in and out of my memory no time to, clocks moving backwards but I'm on fast forward so as I say goodbye I cry no time to waste no time to try to stop this internal time twister its determined to blow away yesterdays, destroy better days, gone are those days in light of today! I can't take it anymore! And I add to this tornado of tears and I know you too have gone through this whirlwind of emotion, Down a gutter Only sisters could know, drowning in could-be tomorrows and tormented afterglows of shows of kinder days.
In blurred pigments of mud I see anger so thick it chokes quicksand. And I RAN through it. Fuck it. It's TRAGIC. How streams of dusted film once cherished and previously seen now lay discarded in my attic. A pigmentation of my inner sorrow succumbing to the i-n-e-v-i-t-a-b-l-e… foretold tomorrows! Lamented, I scream, "Go away gypsy!" Can't you see, I'm Grinding my teeth, FIGHTING against the chains of truth… Sorry for what it comes down to. But this anger... I can't get past it ... it's elastic.. Choking on the sweetness of what once was- Like the plastic our friendship has become.
Mournfully it drips salty water on my pillow…And I curl up in pain. You don't even know! It's a shame. The weight of it dissolves these once golden bonds… once stronger than diamonds. Now thinner than the threads you weave through your tattered garments.
So love , (I say with a kiss from the past…….)
When the moons romantic glow is enough to bring a tear to your eye once more
Let it fall in reminisce of the past and on ghostly shadows
Don't forget how we once were love…
And how we became tattered sisters of the morrow. ..

HANDS

HANDS ARE OUR EXPRESSIONS

TO OUR FEELINGS INSIDE

WHETHER TOUCHING OR CARESSING

YOUR HEART THEY WILL ABIDE

A HAND TO HELP A FRIEND

A GUIDE TO HELP A BROTHER

A TOUCH FROM BABE TO MOTHER

A CARESS FROM LOVE TO LOVER

ENTERTWINING FINGERS

FEELING WARM AND SAFE

YOUR HANDS ARE YOUR REFLECTORS

IT..S WITH THEM THAT YOU EMBRACE

AS A LOVERS HANDS

RUNS SWIFTLY OVER YOU

THEIR TOUCH IGNITES A FIRE

THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO

DISCOVERING NEW CONTOURS

IT SEEMS A LOVERS MAZE

AND WHEN YOU FEEL ITS PRESSURE

IT SENDS YOUR MIND ABLAZE

YOUR HANDS BRING THE FINAL CLOSURE

THE SENSURE THAT I NEED

PUT YOUR HANDS UPON ME

AND SET MY BODY FREE..

~WAVES~

WHAT IFS AND COULD BES-
THOSE PERPETUAL SHOULD BES AND TANTALIZING WOULD BES  
THESE SWIRLING CONTRADICTIONS IN A COLORFUL DISPLAY  
TEASING ONLY IN MY DREAMS WHEN LIFE IS BUT A GAME  
EYES OPENED AND ITS OVER - AND AWAKE YOU REALIZE
THAT THERE ARE OTHERS IN THIS GAME  
AND YOU ARE BUT A WAVE IN AN OCEAN OF CRIES

Cascade

...

C
a
s
c
a
d
e

 

Sometimes in the recess of my soul

Thoughts cascade like raindrops

Down they fall to the jungle floor of my mind

Sweet soft dew drops of hope - A deeper sense of meaning it evokes

A swift pelting of moisture within, falling two by two

One after the other, each to be construed

As they turn to stone A building is made,

Within this torrent mind of mine - A shelter to keep me warm and safe

Emotions like memories shine ~Alone within the shelter of my mind~

We close our eyes 'cause the "truth hurts"

I slowly learn that childhood dreams are not reality. That happily ever after is nothing but a child's bedtime story. Once put back on the shelf it doesn't apply to your life or mine. Forget about the love. Lose the rhymes and forget about the times.

The times when you thought true love came easily, when you believed in "meant to be's." When you believed in candlelight and how everything would be alright.

But the truth hurts more than these daydreams of the stars in a young girls eyes when she believes.

These stars, they've gone so far, shooting away the hopes of a prince charming, passing by are the arms she thought she would take refuge in – now its only about who will win.

Pride takes front seat to the back seat fantasy that used to drive with notions of forever after, I no longer even know what it is I am after, or if there's an end to this tale that rhymes with happily ever.

I feel lost in a game I didn't even want to play. I just wanted to love and be loved the same- Now I truly know what the lyrics mean when they say, "You're here, But so far away."

And I say… Do you remember?

I push and you pull away, it's become a game and we tumble in pain, it's a shame it had to end this way, when all I wanted was for you to say…

*I love you.*

I'm sorry I'm not always the girl for you. I'm sorry I can't always be strong and I'm sorry for the times when I'm wrong.

When you're hurting I cry inside, you touch my heart with just your eyes. Eyes of sorrow, eyes of laughter- I wish I was your ever after. "

-If only I believed we could get past all of this- But fairy tales… They don't exist.

POU/NCE

Mind at a s-t-a-n-d-still
Body clenched up tight
Wanting to shout out
But having nothing & no one to fight
"I wanna break something
I wanna lash out
I wanna scream out"
But it's TIME OUT!
So I crouch down like a tiger in wait
It's MY life, MY choice not a fucking debate!
Ready to pounce
But still on my side of the ring
Ready to pounce
Impatient for the bell of the referee
Mohammad's bee aint got no sting
Not compared to the emotion in me
I've got a passion - I've got a fire and a will
Like a fucking dam- at a stand still!
Ready to bust free
Break the ChAiNs that are bounding my feet
Sapphire waves are now shooting out flames of desire
This deep intense blue is ready to SpArK * fires
Under darkly veiled expressions
Beyond closed and shuttered eyes
Tepid emotions
Can no longer be denied!
P-O-U-N-C-E!
… "I wanna break something
I wanna lash out
I wanna scream out"
But it's TIME OUT!

~B-L-I-N-D~

Whil3 sl33ping with Eyes 0p3ned
Y0ur s0ul calls out for r3lease
Within y0ur mixed 3m0tions
C0mes a cry that brings y0u t0 y0ur kn3es
A r3fug3 is what y0u s33k
0f a h0p3…and but a dr3am
Awak3 you c0m3 to find
~...ThAt n0tHinG's whAt It sEeMs...~

INNOCENCE...

WHEN PEOPLE PONDER INNOCENCE
I THINK UPON OUR YOUTH
BEFORE THEIR MINDS ARE TAINTED
BY THE COLD AND NAKED TRUTH
WHEN SMILES HOLD NO LIES
AND DEMONS ARE KEPT AT BAY
WHEN IN THEIR MINDS THEY HAVE NO DOUBT
THAT MOMMY LEADS THE WAY
BEFORE THEY STRIKE AWARENESS
UPON THE YOUS AND MES
ON HOW WE THINK AND WHY WE DO
~~~BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE ~~~

*Yawn*

Groggy Mornings

Silken Smiles

Dreamy thoughts, all the while

Ruffled blankets

Cat stretch yawn

Sleepy eyes, awakened dawn...

ETERNAL RAPTURE

THE ETERNAL RAPTURE OF THE UNCONSCIOUS MIND
BREATHES IN DREAMS, AND MOVES IN SEQUENCES WE HAVE YET TO DEFINE
A TUNNEL OF SECLUSION
A MIME TO FORMAT THOUGHTS
THE SELF IS BUT A MAP
AND IN IT..S CODE YOU..RE CAUGHT
RAPID MOVEMENTS OF THE EYE
IN STILL FORM YOU WANDER
INTO THE WORLD OF ChAoS
BEWaRE of GoINg UnDer

D*R*I*P

Shimmery Orange Glittery Gold Dust
The Heat of Summer, The Sleek Humid Musk

The Soft Dripping Moisture On Cool Blades Of Grass

Secluded Emotions Entombed In The Past ..........